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[26 Apr 2003|01:04am]
it's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that I'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way
all the times I have sat and stared
as she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
and she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,
with me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say
cause I love her with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause shes all that I see and shes all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again

it's a master for melody when she calls out my name to me
as the world spins around her she laughs, rolls her eyes
and I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise
cause I love her with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but I'd rather be here than on land
yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again

it's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that I'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way
all the times I have sat and stared
as she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
and she purses her lips, bats her eyes as she plays,
with me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say
cause I love her with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but I'd rather be here than on land
yes she's all that I see and she's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again

Out of My League - Stephen Speaks
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HAPPY EASTER! [20 Apr 2003|09:45pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Lately I've been getting upset at the most insignificant things. Last night I just sat there kind of crying. It wasn't like really bawling, but like I didn't even know what exactly I was so upset at. Granted there was a lot going on that I wasn't too thrilled with, but I couldn't pin point anything that was really making me that upset.

I'll warn you now...what I'm going to write next is contemplating religion, if you're completely uninterested in the whole bible scene, you probably won't care, or might not understand.
In church today there was someone sitting around me, I don't really know who the heck they were, but they started talking about how awful Judas Iscariot was. Basically talking about how he was stabbing Jesus in the back after Jesus went out on a limb for him. Yes, its true he did, however it was prophesied in the Old Testament, and Jesus knew all along that he would be betrayed by Judas. Most people who believe to this extent what the bible says can also say they believe in a divine plan. So, if it was for seen and in a divine plan that Judas would betray Jesus, and he still chose to be crucified for the forgiveness of OUR sins. My main point is that doesn't the forgiveness of our sins, include those of Judas, whose sins were for seen? I don't think there is a whole lot that any person can do to contradict a prophecy. Also, after the fact he tried to return the 30 pieces of silver saying that he had sinned in that he had "betrayed innocent blood." I guess I don't really have a point. It's religion...everyone has their own opinion. This just happens to be mine.

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[20 Apr 2003|06:12pm]
You're Megara!

You are a quick-witted tough dame with a tongue of
steel. This jaded, cynical outlook is your suit
of armor worn to protect you from further hurt
and mistreatment. You may have been burned in
the past by a love. Though your history weighs
on your mind, you still have a little bit of
faith in love. Don't deny it, girlfriend! Let
go of the past and move on, embracing life's
possibilities. But being more optimistic
doesn't mean you have to lose your wit or

Which Disney princess are you ?
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[20 Apr 2003|02:50pm]
this one is for you, ms. Amber Michelle Kettmann

Its been like a week since I've updated.

big events:

Easter - Easter bunny brought me a stuffed puppy, a shirt that conveniently matched the skirt I wanted to wear to church, and a new cell phone (860-0495...remember that!)

my brothers birthday - April 19th Jon turned 14. my conclusion is that his birthday blows because so many bad things have happened on it. Waco and Oklahoma City bombing?? I'd say that just about sucks...

Track - I made provisionals for states at the second meet. like NO ONE was there and I came in tied for first in the 100 and first in javelin. it was a good day other than the fact that my 100 time was like .7 seconds slower than I normally run and I pulled my quad.
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[12 Apr 2003|09:58am]
[ mood | awake ]

I'm in one of those moods where I need to go back to sleep, but I'm wide awake. I hate that. So I figured I'd come update.

So I'm definitely not going to the Charity Ball thing...Dan and I had a mini-fight in the middle of the lobby and I was crying, and then I had to go to track. So I walked up the stairs and like 10 girls came up to me within the next 10 minutes asking if I was all right. When I got home probably another 10 asked when I got online. And I think a total of about 10 volunteered to kick his ass. I have very nice friends. Thank you girls (and the occasional guy).

From there, I had a great night planned with Hilary. Didn't turn out quite that way!! I'm not going to get into details, but lets just say I was sick to my stomach with nervousness and yeah. So far I'm good though...

However, this entry isn't intended just to whine and complain. I did actually have a good day. I went to science and we took a few notes but then did this really funny experiment where we'd blindfold a person and have them stand on a board. Then they'd old on to g-man's shoulders, and we told hem they were being lifted to the ceiling. However, we really only lifted them an inch or two, and g-man just ducked. Then we'd lose control and pretend to drop them. We did Kaitlyn Flanagan, who was cool about it. Then Steven Weiler got all cocky like when we tricked him and just left. Party pooper.

Then I had a Spanish field trip. I was with Hil, RJ and Garrett the whole time. Some good times were had there. Garrett and RJ were picking on Hil at one point and said "tu tienes dos penes" which means "you have two penises." We all knew that, but she had no clue. So she called Senora over and was like "que significa 'tu tienes dos penes" which basically was asking what it meant. Senora's eyes got SOOOO wide and she was like "uhhh....adios amigos" Then we told her and she was MORTIFIED. Many other good times, but I won't get into them here.

I think I'm done. Theres not really much more that I care to elaborate on when the entire world can see it. I'm sure that if you know me, you can figure it out!

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[10 Apr 2003|05:12pm]
I told myself a long time ago that I would never let a situation with an ex and I get to the point where it was so uncomfortable that I'd avoid or skip something because of them. I really wanted to go to the charity ball, but I don't want to see Dan there...what to do?? what to do?? (PEOPLE THIS IS WHEN YOU COMMENT BECAUSE I NEED ADVICE)
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FOR YOU! (well...maybe not you) [09 Apr 2003|06:59pm]
Amber - Thank you so much for understanding. I love the fact that I don't even have to explain and you know what I'm feeling or trying to get at. And you always know how to respond. I'm sorry that I don't exactly know what to say to make you feel any better. I have a knack for making you smile and laugh, but I don't think anything I say has real sentimental value. I hope you know, that regardless of the situation, I'll try my hardest to help. You're older and wiser...but I can try. And if I fail, I'll just make jokes about the person until you smile. Oh...and hugs. They work wonders.

Jess - You are priceless. I could never thank you enough for being there for me over the past few years. You've been there throughout my best and worst hours, and loved me regardless. I don't know if I will ever be able to be that great of a friend, but I'm going to keep trying until my dying day. Thank you so much for everything. We have the greatest times together, and we can sit there giggling or talking for hours about really nothing at all and still have a wonderful time. You are one of the very few people around whom I don't feel pressured to be someone that I'm not

Megan - I guess I don't really know where to start. Love, hate, love hate. It doesn't matter if anyone understands, because we do. I know that when it comes down to it, even if we are fighting over something stupid, we're there for each other and that's something that I value more than anything. You and I (when we aren't biting each others heads off) have absolutely the funniest times ever. I would be lost in math class without you. I might actually even have to learn. Who does that???

Dan - Theres so much to say. I hate feeling the way I do now, and I absolutely hate the way you and I fight. I guess there is really no way around it. Even though I tell you quite often how much I hate you, deep down you know I love you. Thank you for making me realize who I had become, and helping me change.

Tom - You are an amazing person. You and I haven't been friends for that long, but the way we've gotten so close really amazes me. You always know just what to say to make me smile, even if it is just some silly random comment that makes no sense. And try to be positive...you don't even know how great you are.

Garrett - I was lost in a complete illusion for so long and never stopped to realize how things actually were. You have restored my faith in the male gender so many times. I always feel like I constantly have to apologize to you for the crazy shit that I have caused you, and I am truly very sorry. I've never met someone like you who can say something so insignificant to you, but yet it means so much to me. In fact, it kind of scares me. Sometimes I think you're too nice for your own good. But thank you.

Hil - You are such a great person, and an amazing friend. You and I have known each other forever, and we were never really close until cheerleading. Since then, I've realized I was missing out all those years because you always know just what to say. All the times we leave Spanish class crying together. Thank you so much for just being you.

2003 Cheerleaders - I have never bonded with a team quite like you guys. Maybe it was the three hours a day, six days a week thing. But even after the season, I can walk into a room and without words, you guys know exactly what kind of mood I'm in and know how to fix it. So what if everyone thinks we're lesbians? They are just jealous ;-)
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ME! [09 Apr 2003|06:12pm]
Name: Kara
Age: 16
Age you wish you were: 18 and graduating!
Occupation: Fieldhouse Sports and Merrivale Ice Cream...does that count?
Location: Bow, NH

Hair color : blonde
Eye color : that's a matter of opinion, some say green, some say brown, some say hazel...
Ever worn eye color changing contacts? nope, I have cool eyes as it is
Favorite body part: hands because they are most useful
Body part people compliment the most: girls seem to really like my upper body and like shoulders and arms and stuff, guys its usually my smile, however that's not really a body part so face/lips???
Ever been told you resemble a celebrity? Julia Roberts... don't see it at all but lots of people tell me I smile like her
Piercings? yes
Where? 2 in each ear
Tattoos? no!
Braces? nope, probably getting them soon though
Ever shaved your head? NO!!!!! I like my hair!
Height: 5'2"

Favorite item of clothing: I could never pick!!
Favorite clothing store: Abercombie and Fitch
Favorite clothing label: Abercrombie and Fitch (that's really all I wear anymore...sad but true)
You most often shop at: the mall

Fave animal: puppies!!!!
Any pets? no and I'm bitter about it
Least fave animal: SNAKES!!! AHHH!!!

Number of males/females kissed: hmm...5, unless truth or dare counts in which case, I'll have to get back to you on that one...
Number of relationships: If you count that petty 11-year-old stuff then 6, real ones, 1 1/2
One you regret most: I don't really regret things because its all a growing experience...I may say I do occasionally...but I don't
Why? not applicable
Current boyfriend/girlfriend: none
Longest relationship: Dan. Couldn't give you an exact time frame...but you're looking at around 2 years-ish
Favorite body part of partner: eyes, arms
Why you're with them: that feeling that cant be explained

Favorite actor: Denzel Washington
Favorite actress: Julia Roberts
Best looking male celebrity: PAUL WALKER!!!!
Funniest celebrity: Robin Williams
Ever met anyone famous? no

Last movie you saw in a cinema: Chicago
Ave movie: Little Mermaid
Least ave movie: I don't know...

Water: fish
Summer: beach!!!!
Snow: cheerleading
Dance music: Clubs
Metal: music
Hair: Lauren zielinski
Boobs: (grabbing chest) "what?!"
Children: Braden and Kyle
Computers: PIECE OF SHIT
Australia: Dan
America: the flag

Color: pink
Season: summer
Food: beef stroganoff, fettucine alfredo
Restaurant: Gallos, good food and good memories
TV Show: Gilmore Girls
Song: I don't really have one...maybe When You Say Nothing At All by Allison Krauss or Landslide...both the lyrics really move me
Sport: that's a toughie..I love all three equally as much. soccer is just like what I've done forever and its just kinda a part of me. cheerleading I just LOVE, and track is just so good for me and my social life lol
People: my favorite people...hmm I suppose I could write a little something about some of them...
Jess - always there for me, always knows what to say and is one of the nicest people I know
Megan - although she and I have a love hate relationship, we deal and no one else needs to understand
Tom and Garrett - continually restore my faith in the male gender day after day when I'm convinced they are all a worthless waste of precious space and air.
Cheerleaders - Not enough good stuff I could say about them...
My family - I may get completely sick of them from time to time...but I still love them regardless
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Rejection... [08 Apr 2003|10:53pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

For the longest time, my greatest fear was rejection. Up until like 7th or 8th grade, it basically never happened to me. We were still all part of the "cool" clique, we were the #1 soccer team in the state, boys weren't really ever an issue because by the time I gave a shit, it was even less of an issue. I mean, who cares...real feelings when you're 12? We wrote how much we loved each other on our profile and how we'd be "together forever" after a day. Rejection just never really happened. Then I had real feelings, and real goals and desires. And the past few months it seems like they are all being shattered before my very eyes. Its like one rejection after another. Not just with guys (although I have to admit, I'm not having very much luck in that department, either) but its just everything. Things I shouldn't take personally, I do. Its like a constant reminder is there that I'm not good enough. And not just in any one thing. Everything. For once, I just want to be good enough.

Yeah, that same thought of having the knight come save me...if you're out there...now is the time

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[05 Apr 2003|02:05pm]
You are Juliette from Massenet's "Romeo et
You are sweet, pure, and in love with life.
Unfortunately, you are also doomed. Sorry.

Which DIVA are you?
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you are harry potter. courages, friendly, and

which harry potter charater are you? ( who you are may not go by books or movie)
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Which "Gilmore Girls" character are you?
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LIFE UPDATE! [05 Apr 2003|01:24pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Well I've started to write over the past few days, and never really finished, or posted...so here it goes!

License...yes folks, the DMV gave ME my license. I am not a freely mobile individual. Its crazy because I really am a horrible driver, and somehow I got a 100% of the driving portion. Kinda makes me scared to think that I may be sharing the road with other people who are as bad as I am and still passed...

Track. We ran time trials the other day. I don't understand why they even bother with those. I mean we had people being timed on calculators...they don't really prove anything. All they do is upset people because they get screwed up and stuff. I guess I'm not really in the position to complain because I got the good end of it, my time is faster than I can run...but its nuts! Now for the mile time trial...maybe I'll just shoot myself now.

Snow. Enough said. I mean really, what the hell is this?! Mother Nature decided that the good ol' folks in New Hampshire really needed snow in SEVEN consecutive months. I beg to differ...

Pet Peeve: When guys call you "babe." It sounds so unnatural, and I've found that most of the guys that say it, tend to say it over and over again. Note to all guys reading this: most girls don't find the nickname babe as cute or sweet, and chances are, unless you fall into a rare category, it just doesn't flow. Conclusion: that word should have died out as soon as they made the movie "babe"

My dream last night was absolutely wonderful. I woke up absolutely ecstatic. If that one could come true, I would be a very very happy girl.

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[31 Mar 2003|08:37pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

First entry! Well I have to thank Steph, who absolutely rocks my world. She understands the incredible pains that ujournal caused (ex: wanting to write for an entire WEEK and it being down)and was so sweet to give me one of her codes. Thanks!
So about the things I've wanted to say for like a week...

1. Track Cheerleaders - Not all the trackies, not all the cheerleaders, the ones that just happen to be BOTH. You guys just so happen to be my sanity.

2. Christine Bourque - I have a severe issue with this lady. She has this crazy idea that she can tell me and my parents how to run my life. That my frequent absences are hindering my progress (straight A's..thanks) and that my mother lets me run wild by letting me miss school tomorrow. Yeah, so while you're all in school I'll be "running wild" at Concord Hospital getting x-rays, bone scans and meeting with specialists...woo hoo I'm a rebel! Way to go Christine! You figured me out with that immense knowledge it takes to be a gym teacher.
***I know I'm being awfully harsh on her, I'm just fed up. I really have nothing against gym teachers.***

Those were just two really necessary points I had to make before I continued with my rambling. I'm kind of stressed out about everything. In the past week I realized that I'm done trying. Everything I have done has just put me further back and I'm emotionally incapable of continuing like this. It just sucks...

I guess I don't really know what I'm talking about anymore...if you didn't figure it out by my ramblings...I'm confused

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